I'm sorry that I'm running late! There is a power failure and I am stuck on the escalator.
What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you Continue to do so
!!
U r a Stupid Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand
...
Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault
!
Whn you r alone, Whn you r crying, whn you r upset, Don't think of me!! just call me Bcoz incoming is free for me... my friend
!!
Why did God Create 'you' before Me....? Ans: B'cause he wanted to Create a 'Sample', Be 4 Creating A *Master-Piece
*
Days are 2 Busy, Hours are 2Fast, Seconds are 2 Few But there's always Time for Me 2 disturb You
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door
.
SMS Heaven! Q) Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A) Because they are afraid of what they have created
!
A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company? Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell
?
There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And ofcourse a donkey to pay her bills
!!
Do you take me 2 be ur lawfully loveable fren, 2 have and 2 hold, 4 rich qoutes or corny jokes, in text meassging & in poor signal, till low batt do us part
?
Husbd: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr
.
Teacher: Why is your nose red? Max: I smelled a b-rose. Teacher: But there is no "b" in rose. Max: There was in this one
!
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I have to leave, I can't find a brain
.
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I have to leave, I can't find a brain
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نوشته شده در
3 Apr 2008ساعت
9:40 PM توسط سعید
|
A sardar falls in luv wit a nurse.. After much thinking, he finally writes a luv letter 2 her: "I LUV U SISTER"
The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut
!
This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on ur name and didn't even tell me? Animal Planet
!
Phonebook Dilemma Why r there no phone books in China? Coz there r so many Wing's and Wong's, they r afraid u will Wing the Wong number
.
If u read dis, I'm SMART. If u save dis, you agree dat I'm SMART. If u fwd dis, u r spreading dat I'm SMARt & if u delete dis, u r jealous coz I'm SMART
3 Guys were introduced to a girl. Hi, I?m Peter, not a saint. I?m Paul not a POPE. I?m John not a Baptist. The girl replied. Hi... I?m Mary, not a VIRGIN
.
Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids
.
Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr
.
Q:- what do u get when u cross a librarian and a lawyer? A:- "All the information you want, except you can't understand it
."
Q:) Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A:) Because they are afraid of what they have created
!
Funny Answering Machine Messages Please leave a message However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us
.
They say Love is in the air... shit if only I had a plane right now
!
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it
.
Seeking luv iz a mission... finding luv iz a complexed ambition... so y not go wiv the asian tradition, and let the parentz make the decision
...
Regular Naps Prevent Old Age... Especially If You Take Them While Driving
!
Think Well Work Well Eat Well Sleep Well Play Well and also put ur Mobile inside the same well
Because you r not messageing me... well
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نوشته شده در
3 Apr 2008ساعت
9:36 PM توسط سعید
|
Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred
Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? A: I butter not tell you, It might spread!!
Cute? Good looking? Easy to handle? Cool? Sexy? Nice structure? Its my mobile. How about your?
What is the height of Bravery, Patience & Laziness combined? A: Sitting on the sea shore
waiting for TSUNAMI to clean up ur ASS
Will, Marry, I & U are going for a party. Whats the best & worst arrangement u can make. Did u get... Best: Will, U, Marry, Me Worst: I, Will, Marry, U
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push.
Sincere Apology:
If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!
Sweet fruits r nice 2 eat.. Sweet words r nice 2 say.. But sweet people r really hard 2 find..My goodness, how da hell did u manage 2 find me!
Advice
Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice....
Consequences of American life style:
The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r
beating our kids
Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just pluck them from your dreams..
Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
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نوشته شده در
20 Mar 2008ساعت
10:43 PM توسط سعید
|
Friedship is just like wine.. as it gets older it gets sweter.. just like you and me.. you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
I want u... To be with me In a nice Restaurent To have candle light dinner.... & to say say those sweet three words to U.... "Pay The Bill"
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
Friedship is just like wine..as it gets older it gets sweter..just like you and me..you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
Unlike others, ur brain is a masterpiece. it has 2 halves the left & the right The left has nothing right in it & d right has nothing left in it.
We've known Each other 4 Quite a while now, do u think we can be more than Frnds? Will u be my Partner 2 rob a Bank?
I saw U on Road today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My Heart started singing a Sweet Song: Who Let The Dogs Out!
Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death ? Save The World......... So Plz start brushing regularly
When u get ths SMS, snd it to 1 person U luv, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of & 1 u wish to kill. now keep guessing why I send it to u!!
My Life was in darkness before i met u, but now it is bright.u know why? Coz u r a "Tubelight
Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!
Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I said, "dust!"
The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone, Whenever u insert the simcard of a smile, a beautiful day is activated Keep Smiling.
Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
so sweet is ur SMILE..... so sweet is ur STYLE..... so sweet is ur VOICE..... so sweet is ur EYE....... see how sweetly I LIE!!
Some Love Golden-Ship, Some Love Silver-Ship, But I Love One Ship, That Is Your Friend-Ship
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نوشته شده در
20 Mar 2008ساعت
10:37 PM توسط سعید
|
Sign post outside our collage- "Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students, Wait for the Lecturers!".
A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". santa wrote back, "send me ur mother".
Scientists all over the world r wondering how long a human being can live without a brain... Kindly tell them ur age...
What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree....Plz try later."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged.
A good friend is like a computer I 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!
sorry 4 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious matter has comeup actually, we r playing a cards and I lost the joker
Q:) What does a buffalo produce during an EarthQuake? A:) MilkShake
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear I know, but I was in love and didn't notice."
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!
mosquitoes religious? Yes They first sing over u & then prey on your
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear
and a monkey is U dear
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:48 PM توسط سعید
|
Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!
"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain simple ass."
A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.
A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!!
Her Job & My job Her job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!
What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Tommy: A girl on the cover and no
cover on the girl
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:42 PM توسط سعید
|
Remember me like pressed flower in ur Notebook.It may not b having any fragrance,but will remind u of my existence 4ever in ur life
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:26 PM توسط سعید
|
Love is just like life, its not always easy and does not always bring happiness. but when we do not stop living why should we stop loving
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:25 PM توسط سعید
|
L is for lust
O is for over
v is for very loveable
e is for ever
the 4 signs of love
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:23 PM توسط سعید
|
today a few drops of blood fell down of my heart and when i asked why the response was "There was someone very cruel in yours heat that forced us to come out
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:20 PM توسط سعید
|
WHAT IS LOVE? L FOR LAND OF SORROW.O FOR OCEAN OF TERAS. V FOR VELLEY OF DEATH. E FOR END OF LIFE.MISS U ALL TIME
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:19 PM توسط سعید
|
Girl ur clever girl ur smart.girl ur like a work of art.girl ur sexy girl ur fine.d only thing u aint is mine
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:17 PM توسط سعید
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I believe that God above created u for me to luv.he picked you out from all the rest cos he knew id luv you the best
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:15 PM توسط سعید
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uv been called b4 cupids court 4 stealin my heart.trespassin in my dreams & robin me of my senses.uv been sentened 2 a lifetime wiv me- how do u plead
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:12 PM توسط سعید
|
Sometimes My eyes get jealouse of my Heart!!!
You Know Why?Bcoz.....You Always Remain close to my HEART n far from my EYES
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:11 PM توسط سعید
|
I have liked many but loved very few.yet no-one has been as sweet as u.I'd stand and wait in the worlds longest queue.just for the pleasure of a moment with u
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:9 PM توسط سعید
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sweet as a rose bud bright as a star cute as a kitten thats what u are.bundles of joy sunshine and fun you are everything i luv all rolled into 1
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:6 PM توسط سعید
|
Love is like a golden chain that links our hearts together and if you ever break that chain youll break my heart 4ever
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:4 PM توسط سعید
|
What I feel for you,is really true. You got to know,I need you so. When you are gone,I can't go on. Can't you see, that you are the only one for me
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:1 PM توسط سعید
|
I have the "I",I have the "L",I have the "O",I have the "V",I have the
"E",... so pls can I have "U
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
12:0 PM توسط سعید
|
You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind, you must be a good thief because you have stolen my heart, and i am always a bad shooter because I Miss You Always
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
11:57 AM توسط سعید
|
L O V E
L = Lake of Sorrows
O = Ocean of Tears
V = Valley of Death
E = End of life
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
11:55 AM توسط سعید
|
If you love someone, put their name in a circle, instead of a heart, because hearts can break, but circles go on forever
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
11:53 AM توسط سعید
|
You are like the sunshine so warm, you are like sugar, so sweet... you are like you... and that's the reason why I love you
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
11:51 AM توسط سعید
|
Love is sweet poison: .. Do not consume without your beloved's advise .. and keep out of reach of children .. and keep it in cool and dark place
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
11:51 AM توسط سعید
|
Do you believe in love at first sight .. or do I have to walk by again
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
11:50 AM توسط سعید
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If U delete this message thats bcoz u love me. .. If u save it thats bcoz u desire me .. & if u ignore it thats bcoz u miss me. So what u gonna do with It
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
11:48 AM توسط سعید
|
am in hospital now. After 5 minutes, I will be transferred to a surgery room. The doctor told me, I will die if I stop RECEIVING YOUR SMS
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نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
11:45 AM توسط سعید
|
am in hospital now. After 5 minutes, I will be transferred to a surgery room. The doctor told me, I will die if I stop RECEIVING YOUR SMS
+
نوشته شده در
15 Mar 2008ساعت
11:45 AM توسط سعید
|
I love all the stars in the sky, but they are nothing compared to the ones in your eyes
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
9:10 PM توسط سعید
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If i were a tear in ur eye i wood roll down onto ur lips.But if u were a tear in my eye i wood never cry as i wood be afraid 2 lose u
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
9:10 PM توسط سعید
|
1st time i saw u i was scared 2 touch u.1st time i touched u i was scared 2 kiss u.1st time i kiss u i was scared to luv u.but now dat i luv u im scared 2 lose u!
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
9:9 PM توسط سعید
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m feeling so happy, do u know why? cuz i m so lucky, do u know how? cuz God loves me.Do u know how? cuz he gave me a gift. Do u know what? its YOU my love
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
9:8 PM توسط سعید
|
If 10 people care 4 u, one of them is me, if 1 person cares 4 u that would be me again, if no 1 cares 4 u that means i m not in this world.
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
9:8 PM توسط سعید
|
I m going to write on all the bricks I MISS U and i wish that one falls on ur head,so that u knows how it hurts when u miss someone special like u
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
9:7 PM توسط سعید
|
When time comes for u to give ur heart to someone, make sure u select someone who will never break ur heart, cuz broken hearts has never spare parts
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
9:7 PM توسط سعید
|
Time will always fly, but our love will never die. Keep in touch and remeber me
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
9:6 PM توسط سعید
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Life ends when you stop dreaming, hope ends when you stop believing and love ends when you stop caring. So dream hope and love...Makes Life Beautiful
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
9:5 PM توسط سعید
|
Dentist: I have to pull the aching tooth, it will take just five minutes
Patient: And how much will it cost
Dentist: It's $99
Patient: $99 for just a few minutes work
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly if you like
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
8:59 PM توسط سعید
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Patient: "It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth
Dentist: "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
8:59 PM توسط سعید
|
Man: Please register my complaint, my computer is stolen
Police constable: Is internet also stolen
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
8:58 PM توسط سعید
|
Customer: I'd like a mouse mat, please
Salesperson: Certainly sir, we've got a large variety
Customer: Make sure it is compatible with my computer
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
8:57 PM توسط سعید
|
Define Politician: A person who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after that
Q. What's the difference between a politician and a vampire
A. A vampire only sucks blood at night
Q. How can you tell when a politician is lying
A. His lips are moving
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
8:55 PM توسط سعید
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A group of terrorists hijacked a plane full of politicians. They called down to ground control with their list of demands and added that if their demands weren't met, they would release one politician every hour
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
8:53 PM توسط سعید
|
A new client meets a famous lawyer.
Client: Can you tell me how much do you charge
Lawyer: I charge $200 to answer three questions
Client: Well that's a bit steep, isn't it
Lawyer: Yes it is, and what's your third question
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
8:52 PM توسط سعید
|
A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me ... They must be gods
A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me ... I must be a god
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
8:50 PM توسط سعید
|
A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally
Seeing this, her friend congratulated her and said yoga had totally cured her nervousness. "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
8:49 PM توسط سعید
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Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband?s drinking habit
Woman: Yes, Yes !! An amazing effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
8:47 PM توسط سعید
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Buyer to seller: Is your dog faithful
Seller: Yes, I have sold him 3 times earlier also. He is so faithful, everytime he returned back to me
A man went to an auction. He bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher. Finally, he won the bid. As he was paying, he said to the Auctioneer, "I surely hope such a costly parrot can talk. "Don?t worry", said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
8:44 PM توسط سعید
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"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a doctor. He was treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus
"Don't worry, it won't happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only
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نوشته شده در
14 Mar 2008ساعت
8:42 PM توسط سعید
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